WHY I MUST LIVE
THE GRIEF
ation, Erima and Alisha was just for the show, only wanted to watch the drama
Bolade smirk
”And you want me to believe that, who don know you got feeling for Justin. Wow such an opportunity
” fold her hands, shakes her head, it comes like a mock. She post like one who was prepared for a fight.
” And you have to grab it. my dear, now you
e messing with my brother. you wanna play games, ha… tell me!!
” she yell. she would murdered her with just a look
” Bolade you need to stay calm, chill girl. Lets hear from her ” Erima said. Kaima felt a little bit safe, at list finally one speak. with the look on Bolade eye, it was going to pour out her anger.
”what, hear what from her, look. Is in there blood ” Bolade say, It wasn going the way it should. to Kaima, she was getting her message, she felt like some sort of fire pick up in her body, eyes so deep and deadly
” What do you say, Bolade what do you just say ? ” walks closer to her, she sounded like she was going to hit her
”Yes, you heard me right. you are just like your sister. Slut!! ” she say. she has gotten her word right, that was her peace. Bolade is someone who doesn look for something to say, its always at the edge of her mouth, the only thing left is for her to spit it out, she felt some sort of victory, not minding who got the message
This was Bolade in nature, she say words to get to you, it was her only weapon for fight, it has cost her a lot in school, she gets into trouble with most of her classmates, as well as her seniors. She can break you with just a word, she can tell you something that will make you spend all the days of your life thinking, she wasn a fighter but she can win a fight.
Her replied comes like a hot slap from a lefty well trained soldier
”tia, tia ” It was like a white star crowned was crown on her, the sound was well heard.
”Don you ever, call my elder sister a slut ” she grunts.
the word came like a knife stab on her chest, the slap she gave her was nothing to compare with what she felt at that moment, a hot tear founds it way down her cheeks, without her knowledge. she wipes the tears, hush out of the crowd that has circle them, she force her way out. Bolade found herself on the ground, for fifteen seconds she was not her self, before she start hearing voice
”Bolade, stand up but you shouldn have said that ” that was Alisha
”where is she, where is that idiot, so she has run, where is she?
” she roar. twist her waist like she was to murder her, her hand on her waist.
”oh, shes lucky, Kaima you
e so lucky, if I had got you
”. she bit her finger
”Kaima you
e very lucky, you and your sister, are slut
” she roared
” Hey, Bolade why are you saying this, please stop ” Erima say, Bolade go on ranting, spitting all abusive word on the invisible Kaima, as their friends try to calm her down.
Kaima left because she felt a shame, for the fact she knew there was some truth in what Bolade said, its wasn something you should say to a friend, for something that doesn matter ”yes Bolade went to far ” not everyone know about Chinasas way ward life, so many students will say she drop out from school, that was it. for students who knew she was a student in the school, but the message as being delivered and the news went very quick, it went viral within a second, it has gotten to the hears of every teacher and students. It was the school number One, in the school Chart, it trend for weeks.
*********
The next day the we
e into the principals office
”Why would you say that to her since you have no evidence, of your accusations ” Mr Cameron said, very understanding and discipline.
”But sir, … ” Bolade say,
”Shut up ” he said with authority, he cut her, raising his hand like he was about to flog her. ” I taught she was your friend, I heard it was a fight for a man, without knowing it was so immature attitude, childish behaviour of yours. Fighting for a man is also childish and immature ” he speaks with a side lips. drags his lips to his left cheek ”And you ”. Kaima, try as much as possible to avoid having an eye contact, with him. Mr Cameron. so much believe in her, it came as a shock to him when he heard the gist, Kaima knew how disappoint and displease he felt.
After her fathers death, he give her a scholarship for the left two years, to finish her secondary school, while her family relative take care of the other ones. Mr Cameron. has so much believe in Kaima and has taken responsibility in part of her life. She taught that was the end of her education, cause he was going to withdraw the scholarship. her heart also hit fast, like a bomb about to explore, she pray it never occur in his mind, she clutch her hands so tight it sweat. He wanted to say another word, but it get choke by a sneeze, he wipe his face with a tissue.
”You two will have to chose, two weeks suspension or two weeks punishment. You have to wash the toilets, all for two weeks ” he trash the tissue in a trash bin under his table, Bolade frown glares at Kaima
”this is your fault ” Bolade say, pointing at her, Kaima didn even raise a eye brown towards her. Mr Cameron. glare at her ” Im sorry sir ” she said witty,
Her mother was never going to take it from her, its better a month washing the toilet than a day at home, her mother can nag the whole day without having a feeling to shut for a second. it will be better she received beat from her, than her nagging, it was Bolade heritage from her mother. as well as the hot slap she received, each time she misbehave, sometimes school is more peaceful than home
”sir, let me serve the punishment ” she didn wants to think twice
”And you kaima? ” he ask. Kaima saw the disappoint on her mothers face and the sleepless night she will have. If she don spent this two weeks in class, cause she felt it was the last time she was going to be in the school to her. she thought Mr Cameron. has withdrawn the sponsorship.
” I…, m…, I will take the punishment ” she exclaimed
” Now you can go Bolade ” he brutal, his eye fixed on Kaima, she was trying as much as possible, to avoid his stare. ” look here, my friend ” there a sentiment on his voice as he roar, his eye was as deadly as the devils, she trembling, her feet felt cold ”I still can believe you, kaima what happened?. was this Im hearing about you?, you fought because of a man ” he grunt with so much description
She swallow saliva, as she force her self to speak ”Im so..r..ry sir, bu…t.,thats not true, we…are ju…st friends ” word keep breaking, each time she try to compose herself, she found herself breaking down
”I believe you, I don want this to repeat itself. You have to avoid all this, be careful with friends you have ”. fumbling a books scattered on his table. as he place each on top of others. ”They said. you were fighting for a man, now she was fighting you because of his brother, I didn say being in a relationship is bad ”. he didn even stare, all his focus was on his table, it came as a shock of her life. Mr Cameron. has always kick against premature sex, he has never be in support of being in a relationship in the school, he make sure every Friday students are educate more in sex education, so many students has been suspended from school because of date. ”It came as a shocking to you, but he must be responsible, so get the message ”. he glance at her, she felt not just relive but safe and happy ” now you can go to your class ”. Kaima wandering what made Mr Cameron. change his mind, why he would not let her mom know about it. She remembers Bolade, she knew that was the end of her friendship with her, the whole term in school Bolade avoid every connection and activities that will bring them together. Kaima as well avoid both Alisha and Erima, she decide to be alone and focus on her study, but they still spent time together. she made sure it was only a greeting and school work, nothing else. Each time Kaima is with Friends Bolade never show up till there conversation is over, even when she try as much as possible to reconnect with her. Each time she try to, Bolade gives her attitude.
It was Saturday evening, the sun hit hard on nature, Kaima has to drop by the market to see madam Chips. After sales she has to give account to Madam Chip. She own a mini manufacturing company where snack all kind are made, some of the girls comes to buy from her on credit, after sales the pay her, and goes with the profit. even at the end of the day the didn make much, they return the left over to the supplier, the next day the still go for sales, at list Kaima was able to assist her mother with the profit she made. On her way home she meets Bisi. She sees Bisi struggling with a sack bag, it slow her movement, as the sun show no mercy on man kind. It can turn a white man skin to red and even swallow. Bisi is a fair lady, the effect of the sun was showing on her skin as it burn her skin, she stands beside the road side waiting to get a bike. Looking into her eyes, a sign of dizzy and furious capture, she so wish she could disappear and appear in the house, and have a cold bath, and rest her head.
” This sun is too much, why today. Where all this bike man, why is today like this ”
She murmured, drop the sack bag beside her kneel
” Good afternoon, let me help you carry it ” Kaima, came from the back, lifting the baggage, the weight almost hit her down.
She turn to face her ” Ah..ah, Kama, what are you doing here ” she say, she took a handkerchief from her hand bag, wipes her sweat
”I came to make a sales, but Im heading home now, let me give a hand? ” She said smiling
”Ah… no, you have had enough stress, Just go home and rest, Im waiting for a bike ” she exclaimed
” you won see a bike easily here, let me ” she said, lift it on her head
”Since you insist ” she walked after her. It was an opportunity to meet up with, Adex after the break of her friendship with Bolade, she dare not come to her house. it also affect her friendship with Adex. After he caught her and Justin together, Adex distance himself from her. He hardly come to the school to pick Bolade, his an indoor person, if his not reading his chatting with his phone, this keep him busy.
Now his preparation to school, University of Lagos, of course he made it in his JAMB. When Kaima heard about his admission, she wasn happy, she was so bothered. Adex is a good looking guy, tall and ebony, he had a dimple on his left cheek and a reddish lips, and most of it all his brilliant, who would reject such a charming prince. she imagine how he might found another girl, who is more beautiful than her and also brilliant, who will love and respect him . She regret bitterly and grief over it, she wanted to see Adex badly, to explained why he saw her with Justin, she thought the lie Bolade might have feed him up with. now he has gotten admission, she won have the chance, sometimes she comes to visit some of her classmate who leave besides their home, unlucky for her his always indoor. This unlike her but she can fight her feelings for Adex for the rest of her life, he has taken a huge space in her heart. She hopes she never see Bolade at the front of the compound. wish Adex will be right there, sitting as if he was expecting her. The weight of the bag rest on her neck, as some she lift it up for some second. Bisi takes her steps, It was like she was the one carry the heavy bag, her foot steps can be count, she walks as slow as a snail. Kaima do not mind the weight of the bag, she just want to see Adex and express herself and how she feels about him, she don care what he will say or his reaction, shes no longer ashamed of it.
Bolade was seen spreading wears on a rub, immediately she sees kaima she frowned, place the sack bag on the wall beside the entrance. Bolade hush to her mother, she grab her hand bag
” welcome ma ” she greeted, she zoom into the house
”Ma, I will be on my way ” she turn to her.
Bisi sits on the bench in front of the house
” why, please go inside, let Bolade give you something to eat, not everyone will do this…,you
e such a very good girl
” she insist
”Ma, Im ok, I still have a lot to do at home, next time. ” she resist
”All the way from agba market, you carry this hefty bag, to my house ” she narrate, as she demonstrate with hands
”Ma, Im fine, anybody can do that ” she felt so fond, of herself at list, Adex knows shes here, and this is a good reason for him to know shes not as bad as he thinks
”Look since you insist, but I won let you go empty handed ” she persist, leaving
” No ma, Im ok, just don bother ” she pleads,
Bisi ignore her ”I will be right back ” she went in, its very hard decline Bisi. Kaima felt like all her efforts to be picture as a good person will be in vain, she also wanted to impress Bolade not just Adex, if she take anything from Bisi it will all be a waste, she didn know if she should wait, she just want to see Adex at list for the last time, she fight within herself, she finally come to a conclusion to leave
before Bisi comes back.
” My mom said, I should give you this ” she heard the voice as shes about leaving, she felt her heart, as fast as never expect, some sort of feeling took over her, like a butterfly in her belly. She turns, Adex stretch his hand, to give her. She didn like the look in his face, he always wears a smile which makes him more cute and charming. Besides she didn expect that
”No, Im ok ” she tact smiling
”she insist you take it ” he brutal, she has to give up her pride
”Thanks
” she tact, its five hundred naira. She pocket it, at once Adex turns to leave
”Adex, please wait
” he turns to face her
”Justin is not my boyfriend, we
e just friends, what ever you heard about me isn true
” she didn know what gives her the confidence to say dose things, she knew she has to say something, to keep him from leaving, he stare at her with a smile. Bits his lip
”Ok, so happy to hear but no one told me anything about you ” he tact, still smiling, he deep his hands in his pocket.
” you have been avoiding me, ever since than, Im sure you might have heard about. The misunderstanding between me and your sister ” she allowed her heart all out
” Im not avoiding you ” he stretch his body, some sound heard, it was like he command life into his body
”you hardly come to my school to pick Bolade ” she says, as if he owned her apology for that
He giggle ” I had a very busy days, preparing for my admission, and about the relationship stuff, is your personal decision, no one can impel you, to be with any one. Ok… ” he advised, holds her shoulder ”I have something I was doing before, mom send me ” he added
”Look Adex, I like you, I really like you a lot, I said yes ” emotion took over her, poured her heart. It came as a shock to her but him but he acted like he didn heard her
”what did you just say? ” He ask with so much curiosity
” I said I like you, I said yes, I will be your girl friend ” she felt embarrass but she has already said that, he giggling place his two hands on his face, he hug her.
***************
Kaima walks into the sitting room, with a bowl of garri. Ugo and Mary sits with their plates line on a wood table, and a jug of water.
She share among them ”bro Ema where is your plate ” she ask poured water in Marys plate of garri
”Im not eating ” he tact recline on an arm chair
”I want it to soak …well!, well!, well! ” she tact wines her two hands, like a butterfly about to take off, she smiles, turning it.
Ugo pulls her on her skirt ” you won leave there, when you pour it, then you will be at peace ” he yell
”leave me alone ! ” hit his hand. ”leave me ” . in her voice, she sound like a bird
”Ugo whats it, how is it your problem?, you better behave your self ” Emeka roared
”Until she threw it ” he said frowned
”Ugo what is it ” Kaima proclaimed, he drag is plate, she scoop a huge potion into his mouth, he placed his plate on his laps
”Mumu come here ” he brought, five hundred from his pocket. ”go and buy sugar and groundnut, don forget my change ” brutal as he hand him the money
”Ehh…, Bro Eme, make it a round number one fifty, it won be enough for us ” Kaima tact with a smile
”I don have a money, I have something I want to use that money for ” he said, kaima looks at him with a corny eye ” ok, make it one fifty ” he exclaimed. Ugo couldn even wait for another second, he speed off. cause delay can be dangerous, things can change at that very minutes, Emeka can change his mind, he didn want to hear a story
”Bro Eme, whats up ” she sits beside him, he frown. turning to the other space
”look, I don have another money, thats the only money left with me ” he said frowned, hide his face under his arm, Chinasa walks in, rage flow through her like a lava.
”Who took the money, I kept in my bag? ” she grunt, so furious. Kaima evacuate from Emeka sit, walks to the sits beside Mary, acting like she was invisible.
”Boom ” sound of her hand, like she was to swore, but the sound comes like an explosion ” eh.. Sis please take it easy ” Kaima goad.
”you will just receive a hot slap, this afternoon. For the last time who took the money I kept in my bag? ” she warned
”Whats this now, can you search for your money, you don even know where you kept your money, you will start laying accusation ” he runt, leaving
” Thunder strike you there. ” she roar. There is sentiment in her face, she force the table out of her way, her phone ring as she struggled with her bag
” please, don throw this little one we want to manage, we haven seen any to eat ” kaima brutal. if eye was gun, Kaima blood would have been flowing down the floor
She picks. ”halo, babe how far, Im on my way ” she said rushing out. ”let me don come and look for that money ”.
”Ok, ma… ” kaima, said politely, she runs like she was on a race. few seconds, Ugo walks in ” Where is Bro Eme? ” kaima query,
” His outside ” he replied, immediately kaima dash out. Emeka recline on the bench, his leg stretch, the other leg cross his kneel
” Bro Eme!!! ” He jumps up, gazing around as if he was hiding from someone
”What happened!? ” he grunt, his heart at race
”Don be angry, nothing happened. The money ” he glare at her ”how much is that? ” she brutal.
”Which money, did you give me any money to keep ” he frowned, stood up, as he struggles to wear his pan well, he drag it with him as he walk down, from the two stairs in front of the house. Kaima joins her, he walks as fast as he can to avoid her, she also fasten her foot step, to make sure he didn run off
”Who dare? come into this house and took the money shes asking for ” she brutal, he ignored her, as he can no longer endure her nag
”Oo…, is just five thousand naira, what happened ? ” he grunt
”you know since two weeks, I have be saving to start a business, you know that snack business, I want to start my own ” she exclaimed
”So giving you this five thousand, will save your problem, you be able to start your own business? ” he ask grunt
” give me something ” she argue folding her hands, he count the money
”Ok, take ” he gives her from it, three thousand. Put the rest in his pocket. If she didn follow him up that way, she won have gotten a share. She knew Chinasa would never ask about the money again, she need to get her own potion. at list to start up her own hawking business. Chinasa wasn as bad as she was painted here, she will never request for the money, this doesn means she won remember, but because they were her siblings. ”blood is thicker than water ”, as the saying. When ever she comes back, she comes back with lots of goodies for them. Nnenna will warned them not to take anything from her. it doesn change the smell of those delicious food from Kilimanjaro or Chicken Republic, only the mature ones dare to disobey, but the little ones expressed dear feeling with tears. Sometimes she drop money for food and other things, she buys clothes for them. Once Nnenna founds out, either she throw them or she render them useless.
”Mom, whats this now, do you know how much this clothes cost ” Chinasa grunt
”take them out of my house, my children don need them, they will not accept anything from you ” she yell
”Im working hard for the benefit of everyone, Im trying my best ” she brutal
”For who?. who exactly. Not me, neither my children ” she yell, pointing
”whatever I do, I do it for this family, yet you don appreciate ” she said in tears
”You are doing it for who?, you must be joking, stop deceiving your self, if you
e selling your body to make money is the support you
e giving to me, I don need it, and I can never appreciate such. What you do is called
”prostitution
”. I as a mother will never accept such an abominable thing, as earn of living, so get it
” she grunt leaving, Chinasa felt like her soul, was peers into pieces, she sat on the pavement, burial her face on her
Adex walks in, without their consent.
”Halo ” he waves at Emeka, who was rushing out, Kaima holds her heart like it was felling out
”Hi whats up; ” Emeka tact, they exchange hand shake, his about leaving, he drags his leg, his shoulder pops up and down, till he was completely off the view
Kaima smiles, feeling shade by his brothers steps, as Adex eyes followed him till vanished
”Hi, whats up ” she tact,
”What you guys doing? ” he asked, still smiling
” Is a family thing ” she demonstrate, she grab his hand. ” come, before my mom caught you here ” he follows her sheepishly.